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I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "The Illuminaughty"
To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.
Putting vodka in my juice, because it`s Russia somewhere.
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
First world problems: I couldn’t hear the TV so I had to stop eating chips.
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
Here walk a mile in my shoes. They`re giving me huge blisters.
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
Every time someone says "Have a nice day!", I yell "DON`T F**KING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|