Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I`m alright, but I feel like, well, like I`ve dyed a little inside.
Saying, "We need to talk," is the most efficient way to freak someone out
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
Not to brag, but I’m pretty good in bed. I don’t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
The hardest part about going through a divorce is finding a hitman you can trust.
Zoning out is your brain’s way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”
Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
Someone stole my identity and returned it 10 minutes later.
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.