Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
Do you want to know Victoria`s Secret? Their lingerie doesn`t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models..
Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan.
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says "I think we got this joke wrong."
I ruined my health by drinking to everyone else’s.
If a man says you`re ugly, he`s being mean. If a woman says you`re ugly, she`s jealous. If a little kid says you`re ugly, then you`re ugly.
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
My therapist goes to her therapist five minutes after I leave.
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.