Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Admit it at some point in your life you have tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light goes out...
I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
I really need to clean the house, but I`m thinking it`d be a lot faster to burn it down and start from scratch...
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the “ABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.
I still like going into Burger King and ordering a McWhopper and a McFry.
Your shirt might say UFC but your body says KFC
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake