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Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head"
I just ate 3 whole chickens ... they were hard boiled.
When you "pretend speak" to someone in the background while ordering takeout so that the restaurant doesn`t judge your big order for one.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
I have some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.