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I saved my husband`s life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.
"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
I went to my local shop for a paper the other day. A guy out of no where started to throw eggs, cream and milk at me. I thought to myself how dairy?
Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
You mellennials and your obsession with public healthcare, back in my day we just died!
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.