Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
Time flies when you’re having a drunken blackout.
I have an awesome idea, but first I`ll need a zebra, bungee cords, jello, and a partner in crime. Any takers?
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a crappy party host.
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
I hope I’m the last guy on earth — I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
When dealing with women, you can either be right or get laid. You can`t have both.
A "Tap Out" sticker on your mini van still makes it a mini van.
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?
I don`t need a New Years Resolution, I`m already awesome!