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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
I believe in magic because it`s the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting . . . I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
If you really want to get under someone`s skin these days, just leave them a voicemail.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of adults nowadays who ask kids "What do you want to be when you grow up?" are just trying to come up with some ideas?
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
I hate when I`m about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.
You can`t always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.