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My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker. . . . well. . . she`s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
"If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best" literally translates to "I`m a loud, sloppy drunk."
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can`t watch Breaking Bad.
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
The other night, I posted on Facebook I was going to sleep shirtless. The next day I logged on and saw 7 mosquitoes "like" this.
Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"