Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
I don`t have to run faster than the lion, I just have to run faster than you.
I bet blind people think farts are funnier than deaf people.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
exercise........you mean extra fries
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
"Omg. Why does this store have so many naked pictures of me?"... "Sir those are mirrors, and we`re gonna have to ask you to leave."
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.