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"Everyone give us money in case something happens and when something happens we`ll call you a liar." -insurance
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
pudding... thats always a funny word
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
Why is it when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a deserted island?" , no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
Here hold my dignity, I`ve got some sketchy shit to do.
You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.