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There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls.
Jack The Ripper would be a great name for a fitness trainer.
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
and alcohol are now friends.
The party`s not over `till you smile for the mugshot
If thereβs one thing that Iβve learned itβs, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off.
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.