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Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there.
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
I’ve got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date!
If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.
Time to walk the cow and milk the dog, Happy Hump Day!
Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won`t understand how many calories are in it.
I`m at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.