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Happy people don`t take long showers.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
Currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
Things people say after watching a movie: 5% - I can’t wait for the sequel. 5% - That was a great movie. 5% - That was a complete waste of money. 85% - I gotta pee!!
If you think nobody cares if you´re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
Golf ball sized hail wouldn`t be as destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor