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A woman saying “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “You won’t feel a thing.”
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
Well, one week smoke free, only 4 dead, 27 injured… not bad…
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
I heard Disney bought and are relocating the White House to Disneyland. They Say, it will be the new Center Piece of FANTASY LAND.
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
Patience Is When Playing TETRIS And U Let Those Bricks Fall On Their Own Without Speeding Them Down
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
If your girlfriends cat gets eaten by an angry pitbul terrier, gently singing "The circle of life" into her ear WILL NOT cheer her up.
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?