Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Oh, you’re surprised I’m still single? I’m surprised you can dress yourself. So I guess we’re even.
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
If I had the money I`d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
That annoying feeling when you finally downloaded the movie you wanted to watch and BOOM!... It`s in French. #F**kYouFrance
I think about hiring a maid way too often for someone who has plenty of time to clean.
the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil.
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
I want to meet the guy whose complaint led to cashiers asking me if it`s okay if they put the receipt in my bag.
I don´t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don’t like on
Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You`d think someone could`ve let me know I was out of toilet paper.