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Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
I think the spork would have caught on better if they called it "a forkin` spoon!"
If people don`t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads, you`re doing something wrong.
Rappers seem to have an unhealthy interest in female dogs, don`t they?
Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in his new Easter based Biblical film, "Bourne Again Christian".
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press 1?” So I did. I don’t remember much afterwards.
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, sex with strangers. You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad"
Being gay is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. But do you know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. That is NOT okay
Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don’t have them, you cry about it.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn`t, you should know that I ignored you first.
"Hey bro shotgun this beer" No I don`t drink "You wanna be cool don`t you?" I don`t drink "C`mon NERD!" Grandma PLEASE stop