Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
5 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
I don’t trust joggers, it’s a little too convenient that they are always the ones to discover dead bodies.
The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single f*cking one of them
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
Facebook should allow people to be in a relationship with food. That would be my relationship for eternity.
For my next trick, I’ll turn this 12 pack of beer into drunk dialing/texting.
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber just to open it.
Technically, every picture is a before picture.