Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My new plan is to ignore my problems until they become hilarious stories.
Parents: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture.
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I’d say it’s been a success.
Sometimes after a nap, I like to take another nap.
I just don`t want to look back and think "I could`ve eaten that"
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan`s chariot.
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
Girls with tattoos on your tits, Why? We`re already looking at them.
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I`d so tap that."
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.
We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch