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Hardest thing in life: Trying to look happy when no money falls out of your birthday card.
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
When someone says I love you over the phone and you don`t feel the same, just say `I love youtube` but say it really fast!
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
The girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.. so I went out and got drunk.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
My number was 0...
The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.
drinks well with others.