Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Before the internet I used to like people.
You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
when my swear jar gets full I`m going to use the money to buy a f*cking puppy
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
Have you ever noticed how people who play candy crush are always saying they need a life?
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
For once in my life, Iād like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my p@nis is.
If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
Honk if you wanna see the finger