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There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
Somehow I`m not nearly as overjoyed with this vegetable slicer as the woman on the infomercial was.
Your things are terrific.
There`s 3 ways to get something done: 1. Do it yourself, 2. Hire someone or 3. Forbid your kids to do it.
Yet another advantage of being single. All I bring to Thanksgiving is empty Tupperware...
If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... Itβs what they want.
if your morning beverage isn`t half booze/half coffee, you`re doing Saturday wrong.
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time