Daily Silly Status

Never, ever ask a woman if she`s pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.

I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

I think I’m allergic to mornings.

i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example

If I had to describe myself with one word it would be "Doesn`t understand directions".

I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.

Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés

I have no idea how I use to get around in the dark before I had a cell phone.

Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!

"We`d be rich if you just said one f*cking word" - me, drunk, talking to my dog

Don`t be sad if you didn`t get a Valentine`s Day gift, lt`s not the end of the world. That`s still ten months away.

I thought `Pokemon` was a Jamaican Porn... My bad...

People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don`t want to talk.

If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.