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I`m still mad that video killed the radio star.
If running away from my problems counts as exercise then yes, I work out a lot.
It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
How long do I have to wear these skinny jeans before they start working?
If you still pay for porn I just want you to know I have a butter churner and an abacus for sale.
I ate too much salad over the weekend so I`m going on an Oreo cleanse today.
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
You`re never too old to learn stupid sh!t
If I`ve offended you in the past, please accept my apology, and shove it up your a$$.
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn`t mean I`m stalking you...It just means you haven`t looked nice in awhile
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
Champagne says I`m classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks.