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Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
I wouldn`t say I`m an alcoholic. I`d slur it.
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
The biggest problem with two-faced people is, never knowing which face to slap first.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
It`s called Wal-Mart because the Center for Disease Control was taken.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
What`s the hold up on making extremely heavy shoes for toddlers so they can`t run around so much?
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I`m the proud owner of aisle 7.
10 million people share the same birthday as you. Your personalized horoscope means sh!t.
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
I would want to change my name to `Nobody` on Facebook. So when someone updates something stupid it says `Nobody likes this`