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I’m just like everyone else: I put my straight jacket on one buckle at a time.
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
I laughed more at the Broncos offense then I did at the commercials.
75% of women in open relationships don`t actually know it yet.
Facebook`s list of "suggested friends" is quite literally a list of people I`ve been avoiding my entire life.
I don’t mean to brag but when I’m at the Taco Bell drive thru placing my order, I don’t even look at the prices.
If you feel like you’re about to punch someone, take a deep breath. Then exhale as you punch to get more power.
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
I have good taste, I just don`t have the money to prove it.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.