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I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
I had four E`s and LSD last night. Such an awful start to a game of scrabble!!
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
I`m already an idiot, I just need a village.
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called " fun size" should really re-evaluate their stanards of entertainment.
“I saw that.” -Karma
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.