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Mowed the lawn yesterday with my shirt off and this morning there were 50 shirts left on my porch with a sign that said, "Please wear."
“I went to Jared” I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
I have off-road rage, too
OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn`t invite me over.
My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5
When you are a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since I last saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
How Big is Infinity?
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.