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They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
This day needs more tomfoolery!
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
Just changed my wireless network name in my apartment to "I can hear you having sex through the ceiling and it sounds mediocre."
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
My mom says I`m special.
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
I`d have better people skills if I worked with better people.
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
I`ve accidentally swallowed a load of scrabble pieces.........My next poop could spell trouble.
I`m Dave, or as the ladies like to call me... "Hey, you! Behind the bushes!"