Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I love running my fingers through my girlfriend`s hair. It`s also a great way to let her know we`re out of napkins.
I don`t care about your status...
If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
I`m not feeling myself today ... would you do it for me?
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things
I mean if men are better at math why do they get the lenght wrong all the time.
I think, therefore i`m single.
If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don`t be open.
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
Some people should come with subtitles.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!!!!