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Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
My inner self is in Photoshop
I`ve decided that I`m an ass man. Don`t get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren`t as cute as donkeys.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
The truth is, men put the lids on jars that tight so you’d need us, we’re not that stupid.
I don`t like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really? You think someone else might want one?
Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That`s where I come in.
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
Mark my words: In a year, the leading cause of death will be “Beaten to death with a selfie stick”
I just blew all my party money on bills again
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
Yeah I`m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT`S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
Divorce... The most common home improvement project.
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”