Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My life is like a romantic comedy expect there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
I love secretly placing a deck of cards on top of someones ceiling fan.
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
I`m so good, I scream my own name out during sex.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.