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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
When I die, I don`t want to go sober...
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
I can`t wait for Taylor Swift to break up with a black guy, so she can write a rap album!
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
My bed and I are in a good relationship, and my alarm clock is so0o jealous...
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
Why is it all the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, impossible, addictive, or fattening?