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They say you have real problems if you hear disembodied voices; fortunately all my imaginary friends have bodies.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
I need coffee in my life more than I need most people.
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
I`m on a pepperoni pizza cleanse.
I`m so sick and tired of my light weight friends who can`t handle their alcohol...Last night , they dropped me 3 times when carrying me out of the bar!
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can post that"