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Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?
Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
I was being taught to use some machinery today, and I was quizzed as to the rules of it`s use. When asked what the first rule is I responded, "You do not talk about Fight Club."
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
I puked in the backseat of my friend`s brand new Mustang in the Fall of 1989. There wasn`t any social networking back then, so I`m telling you all now...
Been coughing all night & day, can`t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends
There`s no WE in pizza.
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...