Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m actually a pretty normal person when you ignore the faint cries for help coming from my basement..
I wish I had a friend like me
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
Engineers: "okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it"
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
I`m not crazy, but I am a carrier.
If at first you don`t succeed then maybe you just suck.
My neighbors complained that I never mow my lawn. So I started mowing. The cops showed up at 3 a.m.. These neighbors are never happy...
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate.
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.