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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
When a woman says "what?" its not because she didn`t hear you. She`s giving you a chance to change what you just said.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
I´m on a whisky diet. I´ve lost three days already!
Here hold my dignity, I`ve got some sketchy shit to do.
My wife said if this gets 100 likes, we`ll try butt stuff........ * Please DON`T like,,, her strap-on is big and scary.....
I did a half hour on the treadmill each day last week. This week, I`m up to 1 hour a day. I`m slowly building up to actually turning it on some time in the future.
Clapping: Repeatedly high-fiving yourself for someone else`s accomplishments.
Does running away from your problems count as exercising? If it is, then I`m one hell of a fitness freak
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.