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Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
Why don`t we ever hear anyone bragging about their Allstate safe driving bonus checks?
To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I`m camping, I won`t be covered.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone`s ok with that.
Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.
The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard"
Iām so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
I can do 50-100 pushups depending on how many weeks you give me.