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I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
Sometimes I wish I wasn`t rich and handsome and delusional.
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
"Polar bears can`t jump." - Black bears
You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire.
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
Staring longingly at the door works for my dog, but I tried it at work and no one let me out. :(
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes