Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they`re ok.
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in.
I have a life, I have the best life in the world. Oh wait sitting around watching Netflix and eating pizza rolls isn`t a life. I guess i was wrong then. :( bummer
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
I went to see a psychiatrist today. He told me I had a split personality and charged me $160. I gave him $80, and told him to get the rest from the other a$$hole!
"I don`t care if you think it sounds gross, that`s what we`re calling it" -Guy who named the sweater.
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
Don`t you just a hate it when you stumble into bed drunk only to be nagged by someone screaming "Get out" or "You live next door!"
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!