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If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
Everyday I’m shoveling. – Winter 2014
I chose the wrong fork in the road, took the road less travelled and got off the beaten path and now I don`t know where the hell I am.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)
"I`ll drink to that." -me to my next drink
Is food porn star a thing yet??
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?