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I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
I Don’t answer text messages right when I get them so I don’t seem desperate. Then, I forget about them and never respond.
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house.
is having some serious PMS: Parked Motorcycle Syndrome!
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.