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I don`t hate anyone. I just don`t like people.
If I could only use one word to describe myself, it would probably be: "not good at following directions".
word of the day: nincomtard
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
If βdress for the job you wantβ were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didnβt hear you the first 100 times.
Can I just drop it like itβs luke warm? Itβs been a long day and Iβm tired.