Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
I`d hate to be a dragon .....I`d get so pissed tryin to blow out my birthday candles.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a prescription bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness."
My little brother just told me I looked stoned as hell. Which is a little weird, considering I don`t have a little brother...
I read my kids a few select facebook statuses before bed, kiss them on their heads, and whisper, "This is why we have to stay in school"
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
Friends are like condoms… they protect you when things get hard.
I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.
Do angry people know about naps?
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
Ladies, don`t date him just because his dad has a yacht. Date the dad.
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(
I`ll sell my broken watch when the time is right.