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Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee.
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
I enjoy short walks to the fridge
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
I`m motivated by a need to leave something meaningful in the world & a profound desire to shove it in the face of anyone who`s rejected me.
College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.
I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
Single, means never having to say you`re sorry.
NyQuil is great. I love the way it comes with it´s own shot glass
i dont have drain bramage.