Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
eBay sellers - just because you`ve dug your suit/dress out of the back of your wardrobe doesn`t make it vintage. #JustOldAndSmelly
i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
Shoutout to my parents for not wearing a condom and creating the most awesome person alive.
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
I`d be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better.
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
My beard itches, Web MD: Beard cancer
Its so cold outside I might even post about it on Facebook
Nothing`s more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.