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If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
If I told you I was a pathological liar, would you believe me?
I`m not as smart as I used to be but then again you can`t stay a teenager all of your life.
You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that`s older than you.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
Things people say after watching a movie: 5% - I can’t wait for the sequel. 5% - That was a great movie. 5% - That was a complete waste of money. 85% - I gotta pee!!
Smile, it´s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
Co-worker: My wife`s an angel. Me: You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
Being in hot water isn`t so bad if you throw in some bubbles and a glass of champagne.
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.