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How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
I`ve come to terms with the fact that I will never experience leftover pizza.
When I die, I want people to say, "That guy owed me a lot of money"
I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
Apparently "whiskey and wild women" is not an acceptable answer when asked what your weaknesses are during a job interview.
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.
It`s always darkest before the dawn. So if you`re going steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s be the time to do it.
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
School was so much easier when 2 plus 2 equaled 4 instead of "X." Whoever decided to involve the alphabet in math deserves a solid punch to the face.