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I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
Let me check my giveashitmeter ... nope nothing.
I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling, "help! shark! help! " I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please adhere to them.
If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I`ve never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
If it`s tourist season why can`t we shoot them?
I wouldn’t say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
Card on top of gift reads `I want you wearing this tonight` only to open the gift to find NOTHING
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor`s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen