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If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.
My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
I finally quit eating pizza for good, now I only eat pizza for evil.
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.
Nice try, Henry Winkler, but I’m not inclined to take mortgage advice from a guy who lived above the Cunningham’s garage for like ten years.
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
I got kicked out of a fancy dress party on the weekend, because I was wearing nothing but a red shirt. Not my fault nobody has heard of Winnie the Pooh!!