Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you own a podium and put up a sign that says "valet" on it, can you just steal cars?
When I say "It’s a long story" It usually means I just don’t want to tell you it.
Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they`re full.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
It`s pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it`s not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
hate it when someone says they are miserable when their profile picture says otherwise.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot.
Lust is not real love and Tombstone is not real pizza, but both are fine when you`re drunk.
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
I`m no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.