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Invite me to your wedding . Invite me to go have fun , but please stop inviting me to your farm .
I thought the movie `fast & furious` was about my sex life. I`m fast, my wife is furious.
I`d try Taco Bell`s breakfast but I don`t start drinking that early.
My friend works at a rubber dog poop factory. He`ll never get rich, but he makes doo.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
Girls just wanna have funds.
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.
The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.