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I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are suppose to be doing something else.
With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
I`ve been taking viagara for my sunburn........ It doesn`t cure it...... but it does keep the sheets off my legs at night.
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
Right before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn’t stolen.
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.