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I thought we had something. You met my family, made us dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.
If you think your having a bad day ... You could be digging your own grave at gun point and find buried treasure.
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
I’m not saying don’t trust the internet but there’s an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I’ve won & the number of ipads I own.
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
Jack The Ripper would be a great name for a fitness trainer.
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
It’s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
"Did you know that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?"
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.