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Give Me A Minute While I Pretend To Care!
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning.
Technically, Humpty Dumpty died a crack head
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
Still haven`t answered my life`s calling... I`ve always just assumed it dialed the wrong number.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it`s AM. Google thinks I`ve got my life together.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It`s about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.
I`ll sell my broken watch when the time is right.
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about