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Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
I hope I never have to run for my life. It wouldn’t end well.
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
Go through a fast food drive thru. When they repeat your order back to you, say "And can I get that to go?" and enjoy the confused silence.
"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.
I put a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Think I`m Sexy" on my car. Then I wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
Don`t EVER break a pinky promise. That sh!t is LEGIT.
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.