Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don´t do dumb stuff is fired.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shi t.
Size does matter-just ask Pluto.
Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
Anyone who wastes my time is a clocksucker.
When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones? I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?
I solve all my problems by creating three new ones as distractions.
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes