Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
My workout plan really only consists of me wandering around in parking lots because I forgot where I parked...
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone`s ok with that.
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
Bowling is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
? Single ? Taken ? Depends on who`s asking.
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?
I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.