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Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
I saved someone`s life today. Well, I resisted the urge to strangle the life out of some idiot. That`s the same thing, right?
Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume…
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, "try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal."
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.