Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
Sugar` is the only word in English that starts with `su` and sounds like `sh`. I`m sure of it.
If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they`d put cocaine back in their recipe.
It`s hard to take life serious once you realize people jamming their genitals in each others mouths is considered a sign of affection.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
This hangover feels like... I should take a shot.
It’s what people don’t know about each other that makes them such good friends.
Goodnight, good people - and nite nite to the naughty ones too!
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.