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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
My wife is pissed at me again. Apparently I`m breathing wrong.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
I saw the most beautiful painting at the store the other day … but then I realized it was a mirror.
Unless life hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
Man, that .01% of germs that can´t be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad a$$ sh!t
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
I`ve been eating a lot of extra calories since daylight savings to make up for that hour of eating I missed.
I`ll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
My buddy told me he was going to Beerfest this weekend, I asked him where, he said "any bar I walk into!!!"
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.