Daily Silly Status

Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!

If my smartphone was so smart, then why it can`t do my math homework

I don’t trust joggers, it’s a little too convenient that they are always the ones to discover dead bodies.

Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in?

Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

If I have ten pieces of bacon and you take five pieces, what do you have? Thats right., A black eye and a broken hand!

Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.

My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.

I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off.

I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a normal pigeon.

I just saw the neighbor`s kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I`m thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn`t supposed to.

I’d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!