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Sex, do it for the kids.
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you can´t chug that whole beer!"
People who say, “Happy New Year” to you on the 4th of January are not really your friends.
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
I was going to get a lot of stuff done tonight, but I didn`t. Because, you know...beer.
I bet acting like azzholes on the Internet all day wasn`t where most of us visioned our lives to be right now.
8 more days and I will finally get rid of last years Halloween candy.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
We all have that one friend that needs to learn how to whisper.
I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure
Cubs fans, you need to wait 107 more years. But don`t worry, 2124 will be here before you know it!
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.