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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone. That`s like if my bed was named iSex.
How to tell if a woman is mad at you: 1.She`s quiet 2.She`s yelling 3.She acts the same 4.She acts different 5.She murdered you
All I`m saying is, I`ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room together.
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
Why isn`t there a reality show called "Security Cams of Walmart?"
If life was easy, we wouldn`t need alcohol.
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.