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I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
really vry funny
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
Interviewer: Have any weaknesses? Me: Bullets I: No, I mean… M: Knives I: I don’t think y… M: probably evil dragons I: … M: Focusing.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
I have never preheated an oven but I have pre-eaten a frozen pizza.
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
I`d hit that. - women drivers
Going to make pizza for dinner!! Ingredients Required: Phone, Menu & Credit Card.. Ohhh I can smell it cooking already!! ;)