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Some days are just not meant to be productive.
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
Trying to learn Mandarin Chinese but the amount of money I`m spending on fortune cookies is getting ridiculous.
You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
My new years resolution was to lose 30 pounds by the end of summer. I`ve only got 40 pounds to go.
Dating a woman in 5 easy steps: 1. Be attentive 2. Don`t be too attentive 3. Show interest 4. Don`t show too much interest 5. Seek therapy
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: ...
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.
My favorite beer is the next one.
The wifi going down on me is the most action I`m going to get tonight.
How strict is the "I licked it, it`s mine" policy? There`s some things I`ve licked that I don`t want.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned