Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
"Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
If you`re in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
Today is National I Don`t Feel Like Doing Sh!t Day. Celebrate accordingly.
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
I can`t possibly f*ck up the entire universe, so that`s a relief.
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
Receipts are just short-stories about how stupid you are with money.
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.